Hi Mygirl23! I am so very sorry that you are going through this and feeling alone! I have had experiences with the juvenile justice system and it definitely was a hard path to walk on. As a parent it is so hard to know that although our children made choices that have led them to this outcome, somehow it feels like we SHOULD have known how to stop them and we could have prevented this from happening. As if, somehow it is our fault because we did not do something good enough for them, we didn’t provide what they needed, we were not there to stop them. These thoughts go around and around in my head until I feel like I am the one who is incarcerated. I am not sure if your daughter is able to receive written letters from you or not, but that always helped me to feel that I was able to get my thoughts and feelings out. It help me to be able to let them know how much I missed them and that their brother and sisters and family missed them too. I got the other kids to write or draw pictures too. It was hard to reach out to my brothers and sisters because I felt like they judged me – that somehow it was my fault that my son was in detention. I felt all alone too. I looked for support groups and was able to find some that helped. I also planned for when my son got out and tried to figure out how to balance structure with easing him back into “normal” everyday life at the house. Figuring out rules and how much trust I could invest was super hard. Working on the house rules together helped so that he could feel like he had part figuring out what the boundaries were. Also, trying hard to create a way to communicate that he became invested and involve in was hard in the beginning because he was so defensive, but eventually he saw that I wanted what was best for him. I hope that this thoughts help. I hope that you know that your love and advocacy for your child is and has always been really important and taking care of yourself is super important too! Sending you lots of good thoughts! – Grace