I was emotionally drowning when I was first introduced to a family support specialist. My daughter was 15 years old and had been in and out of therapy for years, struggling with some very big behaviors and dangerous decisions. I was scared, and I was angry at everyone.

One day, I emailed my daughter’s therapist and told her I was done. I said I had followed every suggestion, done everything asked of me, and nothing was working. I was exhausted. Her therapist replied that there was “a lady at her office who I might want to talk to because she had a similar life experience.”

My first thought was: Why would I want to talk to a complete stranger about such personal things just because she’s been through something similar? I sat on it for a few days, and then, in an act of desperation, I called this mysterious person.

The woman who called me back introduced herself and explained that she was also a parent who had raised children with significant challenges. She invited me to attend a book group. Again, I thought: Why a book group? Was this another way to tell me I was a bad parent? Did everyone think I just needed more parenting classes?

But the family support specialist reassured me that it was a safe space where parents could talk about the hard stuff. I was desperate, so I decided to give it a try.

I began attending the group and slowly started bonding and connecting with other parents. At first, I didn’t notice much change. Then my daughter was hospitalized. It was traumatic. It was terrifying. And my family support specialist was there through it all.

For the first time, I felt heard. I felt understood. I felt supported.

Over the years, she became my family partner in the wraparound process and continued to facilitate the support group I attended. As my daughter grew older, her behavior became even more concerning. She was hospitalized multiple times and spent time in several residential treatment facilities. Through it all, my family support specialist never left my side.

She understood the pain in a way no one else did. I could start in the middle of a sentence, in the middle of a thought, and she would meet me there—with no judgment, no quick answers, just patience and kindness. She pointed me toward books that helped me better understand my daughter’s diagnosis. She guided me through systems no one else thought to explain. She normalized my confusion and anger. She helped me begin to repair my relationship with my daughter.

She modeled that relationships ebb and flow, but what matters most is having a relationship to return to. With her mentorship, I shifted my focus back to connection with my child.

Many years later, I feel more whole. I feel more healed. The challenges of my daughter’s adolescence are still real and carry lifelong consequences, but I was able to move through them and come out the other side feeling like my family mattered—that I mattered.

To this day, I am deeply grateful for the family support specialist who walked with me through that journey. I am thankful for the therapist who had the foresight to introduce us, and for the clinic that made family support available. It was truly life-changing.

You Are Not Alone

Thousands of families walk this path every year. Reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness—it’s a sign of strength. Whether through community groups, peer mentors, or statewide resources, support is out there for both you and your child. If you need support, we are here to listen. Call our parent warmline at 1-833-732-2467 or visit reachoutoregon.org.