Navigating Systems as a Parent of a Child with Behavioral, Emotional, and Mental Health Challenges

When your child is struggling with behavioral, emotional, or mental health challenges, being a parent often feels like taking on a second full-time job—one you never trained for. You’re not just managing symptoms or advocating at school; you’re often trying to understand and access complex systems that don’t always speak the same language, move at the same pace, or prioritize your family’s needs.

At Oregon Family Support Network (OFSN), we hear this story every day from families across the state. Whether it’s trying to coordinate care between schools, therapists, doctors, or social service agencies, or figuring out how to apply for benefits, the learning curve can be steep—and emotionally exhausting.

Here are some truths and tips for navigating systems when you’re parenting a child with complex needs:

1. You Are Not Alone

One of the most important things to know is that you’re not the only one feeling overwhelmed. Systems—from education and health care to juvenile justice and child welfare—can be hard to understand even for professionals. It’s okay to ask questions. It’s okay to feel frustrated. It’s okay to take a break.

At OFSN, we connect families to peer support specialists—parents who have walked this road and can help guide you through it.

2. Start with One Step

When your child needs help from multiple systems, everything can feel urgent and tangled. Take a breath. Focus on one need at a time. For example, if your child is struggling in school, you might begin with a meeting to review their Individualized Education Program (IEP) or 504 plan. If you’re unsure where to begin, reach out to someone who can help you prioritize—your pediatrician, a family support specialist, or a trusted provider.

3. Documentation Is Your Friend

Keep a notebook or digital file of who you’ve talked to, what they said, and what steps were taken. Include appointment dates, notes from school meetings, names of medications or providers, and copies of any official forms. Having everything in one place can reduce stress, support your advocacy, and help you feel more in control.

4. Learn the Language

Systems often use their own jargon—terms like “wraparound services,” “fidelity,” “prior authorization,” or “interagency collaboration.” It’s okay if you don’t know what something means. You have the right to ask professionals to explain things in plain language. And if they won’t, that’s a red flag. You deserve to be informed.

5. Find Your Team

It truly does take a village. A care team might include school staff, mental health providers, extended family, and other parents who understand your situation. Build a circle of support around you and your child—not just professionals, but people who listen without judgment and offer strength when yours is running low.

OFSN offers support groups, one-on-one peer support, and opportunities to connect with others who “get it.”

6. Know Your Rights

Parents have legal rights when it comes to their child’s education, medical care, and access to services. You are your child’s best advocate. Learn about your rights through family advocacy organizations, legal aid, or parent training centers. Don’t be afraid to push back if you feel something isn’t right.

7. Celebrate Small Wins

In the middle of navigating systems and managing crises, it’s easy to overlook progress. Celebrate the good days, the moments of calm, the small steps your child takes toward growth. These are victories too—and they matter.

Final Thoughts: Keep Going

Navigating systems can be confusing and discouraging—but you don’t have to do it alone. There are people and organizations ready to walk beside you, listen without judgment, and help you advocate for what your family needs.

If you’re looking for connection, tools, or support in your area, reach out to Oregon Family Support Network. We are families helping families—because we believe in the power of parents and the strength of community.

Need Support?
Visit www.ofsn.org or call our Parent Warmline at 1-800-323-8521 to connect with someone who understands.

You’ve got this. And we’ve got you.