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Mom staying calm during child’s meltdown

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  • #25565
    dw
    Moderator

    From birth until about age 9, my son was terrified of noises and people. He was so very sweet but also overwhelmed – he sometimes wailed and dropped to the ground in public. People weren’t always nice about it. One acquaintance told me to put him on a leash. Whenever we left the house, I felt like there were two stressors – one, how to help my autistic son stay calm. Two, how to stay calm myself, because I sometimes snapped back at people. Have any of you parents ever struggled with this issue?

    #25572
    JenCan
    Participant

    Yes! sometimes the judgements, stares and negative comments were much harder to deal with than the meltdowns. I hope that society will become more and more aware of Autism and the sensory regulation challenges faced by Autistic children and adults. Understanding breeds compassion, and the world could use so much more of that!

    #26621
    StefW
    Participant

    Oh yes, I dealt with these things. I used to push Aj inside the cart and let him use my phone or a game to distract from the chaos (to him) in the stores.
    I would get so many judgmental stares and comments made “around me” as I say and not to me directly. I often internalized these actions and often felt like a terrible momma for years. Until one day it clicked that i was handling these things to the best of my ability and that no one was in fact “offering real help” so how could I really feel like I wasn’t doing what was best for us to get through the store minus meltdowns, tantrums, wandering, struggles ect.
    After then, I tended to ignore the ignorance. As a young single momma.. that stuff really deeply affected me for years.
    With my kiddo now being a teen and it became more aggressive, I kinda like the silver lining of covid bringing out services like grocery pickup and that I can avoid this for my little families sanity in getting food lol.

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